Stepparenting: A Dirty Job
Love alone is not the reason for getting married. Five years ago, I met a wonderful man and his 7-year old son, Ben. Ben has major behavior issues and I found Ben quite challenging. A few years later, Mike proposed marriage and I accepted because I loved my then fiance so much. I was already once divorced and vowed any future marriages would be made with good sense. My good man doted on me and treated me like a queen. In retrospect, I think Mike was so attentive to combat his difficult son. Well, I have been married one year now. It feels like 20 years. My husband actually likes that it feels like twenty years. His response when I say it has been twenty years is, “That is a good sign baby because twenty years went by so fast.” He is delusional.
I am sure to my stepson it feels like 100 years. He is 12 years old now and is a miserable boy. He blames me when he gets bad grades. He blames me for everything. The truth is his challenges have been present long before I even existed in his life. He stares am me at least 10 times a day like I am alien. I swear some times he just wants to knock the crap out of me! He barely talks to me. Basically, he wishes I did not exist.
I must exist because my stepson needs new clothes, he needs to eat and have a place to live. I am expected to “be a mother” yet accept nothing in return. That is why I deem stepparenting a dirty job. I am expected to be sweet and supportive to a boy who despises me. How do I manage to do this? I keep my distance to avoid a war. It is the only way I have been able to survive one year of marriage. My poor husband is left to do most all discipline related actions. Sometimes he wonders why he married me. As a single father, I am sure he expected some relief with two parents in the household.
Don’t just think twice if you are considering being a stepparent. Think about it at least a hundred times. It is a dirty job that can leave you covered with unhappiness and bitterness.…