Best Parenting Advice Ever About Kids and Homework
You did homework, so did your spouse, so did every kid you have ever known. So, chances are your kids will have to do homework too. But now you are looking at homework from a totally new perspective. You are no longer the one struggling with the assignment or possibly looking for a way out of it all together. Instead you are trying to find good reasons why your child should commit himself or herself readily to the nightly stack of books. You may feel like you have tried everything. After all you’ve done the lectures, the grounding, the cutting off of cell phone privileges. How else does a parent get children to do their homework anyhow? Possibly some of the best parenting advice ever about kids and homework will help you over this necessary hurdle of parenthood.
- Setting the Stage The best parenting advice ever about kids and homework starts where most good drama does with the setting. Kids are no different than adults when it comes to concentration, so when it’s time to sit down and do some serious homework they need a serious setting where they can settle in and get the job done. For the youngest of students this may simply mean clearing off an end of the kitchen table, turning off the television in the adjoining room and making sure there is sufficient light. But for older children a little more care may need to be given.
Children may work best tucked away in their own room with the understanding that while they are working on homework the phone, television and any head banging music is off limits. If they share a room with a sibling, then setting up a reasonable use schedule may need some parental facilitation. Non studying siblings need to be somewhere else if they prove a distraction. Studying together at the same time in the same place is possible but depends upon the nature of the students and can only be determined through trial and error.
Kids who are middle school aged or older may occasionally find the need to use the school or public library for assignments. As parents you need to make sure on your own or with the help of a carpool to see that such a setting can be provided. Where ever they study kids need the correct equipment to succeed. Home study areas should always have pencils, pens, extra paper, and a dictionary as a bare minimum. Study areas shouldn’t provide the student with excuses to not get things done. They also shouldn’t be so comfortable that the student is always found napping or daydreaming out the window. The best parenting advice ever about kids and homework is to make sure your children have a place to study that is off the main line of family traffic, is comfortable and suitably equipped. Now the student is without excuses for not doing his homework and blaming it on you.
2 Decide on a Study Schedule The best parenting advice ever about kids and homework is that parents need to come to an agreement with their children about when homework will be done each day. The younger the child the more parental involvement is required to come up with an appropriate schedule. For some young children the best time may be as soon as they get home from school while they are still somewhat in harness. For other families it makes more sense to let younger children have some outdoor recreation, eat dinner and then settle down with an available parent to confront the assignments of the day.
For children in middle school and high school scheduling may be far more complicated because of their involvement in after school activities and athletics. In many schools young people find themselves involved in evening events and games that can seriously compromise homework time. Decisions have to be made. In most instances, older children have to take a good deal of responsibility in determining their own study plans based on their activities each day. This is fine up to the point where the student consistently finds time for everything but school work or frequently leaves school work to the time in the day when he or she is least capable of studying. With older children the best parenting advice ever about kids and homework can be pared down to simply letting the mdetermine their own study time until they prove incapable or unwilling to do an appropriate job. Then meeting with children and making a less flexible and more reliable schedule for homework becomes essential.
3.Talking It’s not enough to simply set up a schedule for homework and then letting things go. Even the best students will occasionally make bad choices or choices that leave them without enough time to get their work done correctly. To avoid these kinds of problems the best parenting advice ever about kids and homework is to regularly check with kids to see how they are doing. With little ones this needs to be a daily event because they may not have settled comfortably into a study routine yet. For older children who seem to be handling the load, its enough to check in with them from time to time to see that all is going well.
But do check in whether your child is an A student or a D student. Kids don’t want to feel like their parents are always in their face, but they do like the security of knowing they have parents who care enough to pop their heads into the bedroom to see how homework is going. One of the best bits of parenting advice ever about kids and homework is that parents can make a lot more headway with their kids if instead of asking if homework is done, they ask what their kids are studying tonight and how it’s going. Showing compassion for students who obviously are carrying a huge study load or are struggling is also extremely important for parents who want to be supportive.
Keeping in touch with your children, especially if you know they have hit a rough patch is really important. Some children can experience tremendous stress and anxiety about school work. A kind word and the offer of some help may be enough to get them through. When it’s not, parents who have been regularly talking ( not screaming) with their children about their school work are in the best position to know if a tutor or some extra help at school might be worth a try. It will seem to your children much more natural and less like an invasion if such decisions are made after regular conversations about studies.
- Rewards Everyone likes to be rewarded when they have achieved something. It’s fine to offer younger children some type of treat or special privilege when homework has been done without a battle or done consistently well for a week or more at a time. But bribing a child to do homework only leads to the need to bribe them for every additional positive bit of homework they ever do. For this reason the best parental advice ever about kids and homework would be to reward good efforts with regard to homework on a totally random schedule, unconnected to any specific piece of homework but rather as a reward for general accomplishment. This both encourages the student and doesn’t put them in the driver’s seat to demand more rewards every time they lift a pencil.
For older kids its good to find age appropriate awards for good homework. When kids take responsibility for their homework and complete it regularly without being nagged then a reward is probably in order. A great reward for older kids is to extend them some additional privileges as a matter of trust. Having proved themselves trustworthy to get their homework done you determine that they really can handle an extra half hour extension on their curfew. These kinds of rewards make a huge hit with kids and also make a great teachable moment. Kids begin to recognize that good actions are noticed and in the long run rewarded and that keeping trust means adding to the level of trust.
- Helping Out Among the best bits of parenting advice ever about kids and homework is that having to do with mini-mentoring. One of the best ways to encourage your own kids to study is to get them involved helping a younger sibling, cousin or neighbor with homework. Even the youngest children love the idea of taking a turn at being teacher and can be both effective and kind in helping others along. In the process kids come to see how people learn and how after studying they know just a little more than when they began. This simple lesson often transfers to their own studying and also makes them a little more willing to accept help from older siblings or friends or yes, even their parents.
This mini mentoring is something that can be done informally at home, but can also be done at places like the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, adult civic center, churches or at school. Encouraging your kids to participate in these study programs as mini mentors or to take advantage of the same program as students can be enormously helpful in addressing homework issues.
Homework is not going to go away. It may change from year to year in its subject area and complexity but from grade 1-12 it will be coming home. Armed with the best parenting advice ever about kids and homework, you’ll be ready.